Within the last few days, I've got news about the marriages of 7 of my friends! Seven friends! Can you imagine that? I mean, what is happening? Were all these people waiting for me to get out of India and then, decided to hitched?
Whatever the reason, I was pleasantly surprised. It's so nice to see all the friends with whom you have played pranks on poor teachers and lecturers, with whom you have joined the first job, with whom you have gone on innumerable girl check-out trips suddenly getting mature and settling down in life. What's more enlightening is the understanding of the complexity in this nuptial arrangement that seems to be coming to the fore when the matrimonial plans are getting finalized.
Being a hopeless optimist and a lazy guy, my attitude has been something like this: If somebody says, "Tomorrow, the sky will fall." Well, I'll not do anything much about until tomorrow morning until the sky actually starts hurtling towards the unsuspecting earth.
In this situation, it's quite overwhelming when you hear the friends making plans about, "Where will we settle? Near whose office should the house be? Who will sacrifice the career opportunities for making way to marriage?" And so on. Is it like these are the things that girls always have in mind or is it something like a dormant seed in everybody’s brain that suddenly sprouts whenever the marriage is imminent (adj: used in sentences like, ‘the storm is imminent’ Notice the similarity?) The reason is, my friends who are getting hitched were until the last few months thinking of only new restaurants, movie joints, latest certification and stuff like that. Oh yeah, also the best time to go to Prasadz to catch a glimpse of the best babes in Hyderabad. But, now, they just seem to have become as uninterested (note: I'm NOT using disinterested here.. that word means entirely something else) in all the typical guys activities. Please don't misconstrue this statement, but, is it like falling in love cures the guy like feelings out of you? Or is getting married such a heavy burden that nothing more in life is interesting or worth doing? Well, I've thought about it enough. And finally said, like a typical American teenager, "Whatever!"
Now, all this has left me in a precarious position. Suddenly, all my friends will be no longer bachelors (or bachelorettes, as the case may be {please forgive the spelling if it is wrong. My MS Word could not find it!), all of them will be having a family to think of and the typical family problems. What I am worried is, "What will I do with these guys?" If I go to a friends house and say, "Chalo man, let's go to Prasadz." Tat comes the reply, "No man! Gotto go to Food World and buy atta for tonight or else, the better half will get very angry and Shurpanaka would look like an angel in her comparison!" Mind you, nothing against Shurpanaka (minus the nose), but, didn't these guys know the various facets of their would-be just before jumping into the life-imprisonment of the institution of marriage... Even life-sentence in India is not more than 20 years!
Of course, I am going to be beaten up for having written such blasphemous things about the metamorphosis of the guys and girls after marriage. But, I say, that's occupational hazard... and after all, what's life without friends who'd love to hate you.
Talking about metamorphosis: In schools, we learn about how a butterfly lays eggs, then, it turns into a caterpillar (the egg, I mean) until it eats and eats like Jayalalitaa (note the 2 a's) and then, suddenly becomes a coccon (like Uma Bahrati often does in the alleged Himalayan caves) and then, behold! A beautiful butterfly emerges.
Now, even in human life, the human animal goes through something of a metamorphosis. From being happy, satisfied and happy-go-lucky individual, you see people going into misery, depression and helplessness that they have to (literally and figuratively) sleep with the enemy! I question the gentry of so called educationalists: Of what use is the caterpillar's metamorphosis to me when the human metamorphosis is infinitely more important? In case any of the aforementioned gentry members read it, mind you it is known as a rhetorical question.
After all this circumlocution, I shall return to the crux of the matter. {Or is it that I am speaking of the crux only now? Like I said before, Whatever!} That is, despite knowing all of the facts, and despite having seen the perils of matrimony, I shall one day ultimatelt fall into this curse. And I'm worried that if all my friends fall for marriage like flies, then, time's not far when my mom shall deem it important to help her son out his blissful existence into the shared misery of his aforementioned friends.
Well, whatsoever be the outcome, I just want to say, "Gals & Guys! Have a blissfully wedded life!" And hopefully, may the joy remain with you and may you stay out of the dangerous metamorphosis that I've outlined above!
Read on technorati at: Nuptial Knots
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Fears, Worries & Childhood...
Today, while chatting with a college of mine, we were discussing about how people seem to worry so much. Yet, if you look back over it, it all seems to be such a trivial or silly thing.
Do you remember the childhood? I used to worry about reaching the school on time. But, my biggest concern of all was on Sunday mornings. On Sundays, Dad used to make omlette and bread. Somehow, it has become a ritual that we follow till today at home. Fact is, the moment he’d pour the egg on the pan, I’d run into the kitchen and stretch to see what was happening to my precious. If, and God forbid, if it tore, I’d sit and cry. It was probably the only thing, I remember that I used to cry a lot. Now, here when I make omlette daily in UK, I miss that passion for my precious. If it tears, I still eat, without a fuss. But, somehow, it never seems to taste like what it used to be in childhood.
At around the same time, my parents had devised a method to control my tantrums – it was locking me up in the toilet and switching off the light. It was such a fearful thing, that the very mention of it would instantly subdue me. I used to be shit-scared of the very fact that something that I’d do would result in this horrible punishment! There are nights now, when I’ve had to stay alone in the house and don’t think twice about it. Yet, when the light finally returns, there is no thrill or the utter relief of being safe – the cynical mind now says, “Ok power’s back. Donno when it’ll go dark again.”
During the school days, the biggest fear was facing the wrath of teacher over an incomplete home-work. I’d do anything to complete the geography maps, the history answers and the science projects. (Hindi homework, I used to procrastinate) Yet, if the same teacher wrote a simple, “Good” in the notebook, it’d be the greatest victory on earth. A simple four letter word in a barely readable hand-writing was worth so much. Today, there are client appreciation mails and Cognizant’s Associate of the Year award. Somehow, it never seems to give the same sort of inner satisfaction that used to there when I was a kid!
When I was a kid, my dad used to go on long tours, sometimes, for almost 10-15 days. When he’d return, he’d get some chocolate like Cadbury’s dairy milk or my favourite, Crackle. I’d be so thrilled that I’d clutch it and walk around for half an hour without putting away the precious gift. After that, I’d put it in the fridge. I’d revere the chocolate so much that for the first 3-4 days, I’d not even eat it. By then, my Mom would get totally restless with the chocolate staring at her everytime she opened the fridge door. One of the days, when I was at school, she’d open the chocolate packet and bite off one of the pieces. And there would be hell to pay for her transgression! Today, I go to shopping malls with rows and rows of chocolates. I’ve not bought a single one, even though I sent many packets back to the team. Somehow, it never appeals and never seems to hold any sway at all!
Finally, when I was a kid, the biggest worry of all was being away from Mom. Even today, she says, “Sereg hindene irtayidhe”{You used to be behind my saree always}. One day, my parents left me at my cousin’s place. There were 6 of my other cousins staying over at his place. Until night, I was fine. Suddenly, when the time came to sleep, I was petrified. I started crying and pleading. Unable to bear it all, my uncle took me back to our house. I rushed into the house and hugged my mom tightly, sniffing all along. Yesterday, my mom broke down over the phone and said, “There was a time when you’d not leave my saree.. Today, you are thousands of kilometers away, without a chance of running back to me. How do you feel?”
Well mom, all I feel is that if I could turn back the time, I’d do it just now and go back to the wonderful childhood. After all, who gives a damn about this job, career, promotion, politics and client appreciation? I don’t mind the fear of my omlette tearing or the dark toilet, if only, I could turn back time…….
Do you remember the childhood? I used to worry about reaching the school on time. But, my biggest concern of all was on Sunday mornings. On Sundays, Dad used to make omlette and bread. Somehow, it has become a ritual that we follow till today at home. Fact is, the moment he’d pour the egg on the pan, I’d run into the kitchen and stretch to see what was happening to my precious. If, and God forbid, if it tore, I’d sit and cry. It was probably the only thing, I remember that I used to cry a lot. Now, here when I make omlette daily in UK, I miss that passion for my precious. If it tears, I still eat, without a fuss. But, somehow, it never seems to taste like what it used to be in childhood.
At around the same time, my parents had devised a method to control my tantrums – it was locking me up in the toilet and switching off the light. It was such a fearful thing, that the very mention of it would instantly subdue me. I used to be shit-scared of the very fact that something that I’d do would result in this horrible punishment! There are nights now, when I’ve had to stay alone in the house and don’t think twice about it. Yet, when the light finally returns, there is no thrill or the utter relief of being safe – the cynical mind now says, “Ok power’s back. Donno when it’ll go dark again.”
During the school days, the biggest fear was facing the wrath of teacher over an incomplete home-work. I’d do anything to complete the geography maps, the history answers and the science projects. (Hindi homework, I used to procrastinate) Yet, if the same teacher wrote a simple, “Good” in the notebook, it’d be the greatest victory on earth. A simple four letter word in a barely readable hand-writing was worth so much. Today, there are client appreciation mails and Cognizant’s Associate of the Year award. Somehow, it never seems to give the same sort of inner satisfaction that used to there when I was a kid!
When I was a kid, my dad used to go on long tours, sometimes, for almost 10-15 days. When he’d return, he’d get some chocolate like Cadbury’s dairy milk or my favourite, Crackle. I’d be so thrilled that I’d clutch it and walk around for half an hour without putting away the precious gift. After that, I’d put it in the fridge. I’d revere the chocolate so much that for the first 3-4 days, I’d not even eat it. By then, my Mom would get totally restless with the chocolate staring at her everytime she opened the fridge door. One of the days, when I was at school, she’d open the chocolate packet and bite off one of the pieces. And there would be hell to pay for her transgression! Today, I go to shopping malls with rows and rows of chocolates. I’ve not bought a single one, even though I sent many packets back to the team. Somehow, it never appeals and never seems to hold any sway at all!
Finally, when I was a kid, the biggest worry of all was being away from Mom. Even today, she says, “Sereg hindene irtayidhe”{You used to be behind my saree always}. One day, my parents left me at my cousin’s place. There were 6 of my other cousins staying over at his place. Until night, I was fine. Suddenly, when the time came to sleep, I was petrified. I started crying and pleading. Unable to bear it all, my uncle took me back to our house. I rushed into the house and hugged my mom tightly, sniffing all along. Yesterday, my mom broke down over the phone and said, “There was a time when you’d not leave my saree.. Today, you are thousands of kilometers away, without a chance of running back to me. How do you feel?”
Well mom, all I feel is that if I could turn back the time, I’d do it just now and go back to the wonderful childhood. After all, who gives a damn about this job, career, promotion, politics and client appreciation? I don’t mind the fear of my omlette tearing or the dark toilet, if only, I could turn back time…….
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