Within the last few days, I've got news about the marriages of 7 of my friends! Seven friends! Can you imagine that? I mean, what is happening? Were all these people waiting for me to get out of India and then, decided to hitched?
Whatever the reason, I was pleasantly surprised. It's so nice to see all the friends with whom you have played pranks on poor teachers and lecturers, with whom you have joined the first job, with whom you have gone on innumerable girl check-out trips suddenly getting mature and settling down in life. What's more enlightening is the understanding of the complexity in this nuptial arrangement that seems to be coming to the fore when the matrimonial plans are getting finalized.
Being a hopeless optimist and a lazy guy, my attitude has been something like this: If somebody says, "Tomorrow, the sky will fall." Well, I'll not do anything much about until tomorrow morning until the sky actually starts hurtling towards the unsuspecting earth.
In this situation, it's quite overwhelming when you hear the friends making plans about, "Where will we settle? Near whose office should the house be? Who will sacrifice the career opportunities for making way to marriage?" And so on. Is it like these are the things that girls always have in mind or is it something like a dormant seed in everybody’s brain that suddenly sprouts whenever the marriage is imminent (adj: used in sentences like, ‘the storm is imminent’ Notice the similarity?) The reason is, my friends who are getting hitched were until the last few months thinking of only new restaurants, movie joints, latest certification and stuff like that. Oh yeah, also the best time to go to Prasadz to catch a glimpse of the best babes in Hyderabad. But, now, they just seem to have become as uninterested (note: I'm NOT using disinterested here.. that word means entirely something else) in all the typical guys activities. Please don't misconstrue this statement, but, is it like falling in love cures the guy like feelings out of you? Or is getting married such a heavy burden that nothing more in life is interesting or worth doing? Well, I've thought about it enough. And finally said, like a typical American teenager, "Whatever!"
Now, all this has left me in a precarious position. Suddenly, all my friends will be no longer bachelors (or bachelorettes, as the case may be {please forgive the spelling if it is wrong. My MS Word could not find it!), all of them will be having a family to think of and the typical family problems. What I am worried is, "What will I do with these guys?" If I go to a friends house and say, "Chalo man, let's go to Prasadz." Tat comes the reply, "No man! Gotto go to Food World and buy atta for tonight or else, the better half will get very angry and Shurpanaka would look like an angel in her comparison!" Mind you, nothing against Shurpanaka (minus the nose), but, didn't these guys know the various facets of their would-be just before jumping into the life-imprisonment of the institution of marriage... Even life-sentence in India is not more than 20 years!
Of course, I am going to be beaten up for having written such blasphemous things about the metamorphosis of the guys and girls after marriage. But, I say, that's occupational hazard... and after all, what's life without friends who'd love to hate you.
Talking about metamorphosis: In schools, we learn about how a butterfly lays eggs, then, it turns into a caterpillar (the egg, I mean) until it eats and eats like Jayalalitaa (note the 2 a's) and then, suddenly becomes a coccon (like Uma Bahrati often does in the alleged Himalayan caves) and then, behold! A beautiful butterfly emerges.
Now, even in human life, the human animal goes through something of a metamorphosis. From being happy, satisfied and happy-go-lucky individual, you see people going into misery, depression and helplessness that they have to (literally and figuratively) sleep with the enemy! I question the gentry of so called educationalists: Of what use is the caterpillar's metamorphosis to me when the human metamorphosis is infinitely more important? In case any of the aforementioned gentry members read it, mind you it is known as a rhetorical question.
After all this circumlocution, I shall return to the crux of the matter. {Or is it that I am speaking of the crux only now? Like I said before, Whatever!} That is, despite knowing all of the facts, and despite having seen the perils of matrimony, I shall one day ultimatelt fall into this curse. And I'm worried that if all my friends fall for marriage like flies, then, time's not far when my mom shall deem it important to help her son out his blissful existence into the shared misery of his aforementioned friends.
Well, whatsoever be the outcome, I just want to say, "Gals & Guys! Have a blissfully wedded life!" And hopefully, may the joy remain with you and may you stay out of the dangerous metamorphosis that I've outlined above!
Read on technorati at: Nuptial Knots
3 comments:
The last I remember golden words from Akshay was in the final year Engg, when he made an awesome speech. This article was really amazing. Aks: I am sure your mom is going to say a few things to u ;-) Gear Up!!
--Sam
Hope your mom gets the message (soon)!
Wrote this article on the style of "Hot to complain" by Mel Stein. Here's a good one. Describing Opera, he says...
"They all have the same plot and the same non-tunes. Fat bloke sings. Fat woman sings. Fat bloke and fat woman sing togehter. Fat bloke aor fat woman fall in love with another person. Fat bloke or fat woman die. They die shouting at such a volume that it's hard to see how anybody writing out the death certificate could not suspect a foul play."
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