It feels just like yesterday that we started the search for a bride and here we are - celebrating our third wedding anniversay already! Banal it may sound but, time just seems to fly!
After marriage, the pressure of new job, adjusting a new life style and shifting into a new house just took a grand toll on my blog. Hope I can get back to it with a bit more focus now. Thought of just summarizing some interesting stuff learnt hard through experience.
What does it feel to be married for 3 years? Well, the answer is - Super! You always have a friend waiting for you at home, a confidante with whom you can share your innermost feelings (mostly!) and someone to share your dinner with. Eating alone now feels like a punishment!
So for people out there - here's what you learn after marrige. Take with a big ounce of salt. And the disclaimer - this is in no way related to anything that I've experienced. It is a figment of pure imagination and totally fictional stuff!
First Year
In the first year, the first 2-3 months goes off in eating. You need to visit the innumerable relatives and relatives of relatives. Each of them will invite for lunch/dinner and you're supposed to looking fit and trim and then eat until the host feels happy. Your intake capacity is of nobody's concern.
The lunch/dinner eats away the weekends. Not much of time is left for you and your better half to communicate. This is the good thing. Since you don't have enough *quality time* to spend with each other, the actual quality of time spent is very high.
Over a few months, the invitation dwindles. People forget that you're newly married and leave you alone. At this stage, you pull out all the gift coupons and gift cards to buy stuff before the coupons expire. The visit will be mostly for curtains, bedspreads and the like. Essentially you'll see departments in shops that you never even knew existed. However, the visit involves a visit to a nice eatery and good *crowd*. So, it is not too bad.
Then comes the first year trip to in-laws house for the Diwali celebrations. This is a taxing time. You need to bring out a paper and pencil and chart the family structure. All the brances have to be traced, and the leaves analyzed. And you need to remember the names and the characteristics. Once the exam is successfull - I mean the holiday is over, you can relax as you're now formally a part of the family.
The first year will have its set of mild skirmishes. These are the like friendly encounters, just like the India-West Indies matches. There are no real winners or losers and the heart is just not there to give a fight.
Second Year
By this time, you'd have accumulated a lot of holiday and can embark on a second honeymoon. This is a much a better time than the first as you're now more familiar with your better half and don't end with any foot-in-mouth scenario.
Relatives leave you alone except at the various family occasions where you are reminded repeatedly that marriage is not recreation but an a legal sanction for procreation. The best answer to it is grin. If you know the relative well, a wink is also acceptable. If you don't know what to do, just say, "Let's see" and flee from the place.
Mild skirmishes become a bit more pronounced now. Since there aren't too many invites for lunch/dinner over weekends, you get more *quality time*. So you get to discuss the *adjustment issues*. If you are an assertive husban, you will bravely defend your position and then behave as told. If you an aggressive husband, you will shout and fight and behave as told. If you are a submissive guy you wouldn't be having the conversation. So, bottom line is it is a zero sum game where the other party always wins. It is just the fighting spirit that matters. Just don't get too aggressive as the argument will then end with a 'Fine - do whatever you want'. In this case, the discussion will continue and that's in nobody's interest. What's the fun in having the same argument over and over again when there are so many new things to barb about?
Visits to saree shops and other places of general interest tends to get boring. Malls get irritating as standing outside changing rooms becomes a chore.
And by the end of year, the pressure to announce the *good news* just keeps getting worse. Getting a 200% hike isn't good enough. Visiting US of A or any other country and earning in $/GBP etc isn't good enough. There is only one *good news* and the to-be grandpa/grandma just can't wait. It is then you realize what a cornored rat feels like. There isn't a very good escape route. If there is any, please add in comments!
And thus ends the second year of your togetherness. So all you folks out there, just don't get scared - it is just a psychological feeling that can be overcome :-) Before reality hits you, you're in third year. That's the next post!
